Hansi Khanakti Hui (Dedication)


I am still floating in a dream and trying to escape from it but since the time I pinch myslef to open up my eyes the dream is converted into reality; A big Silent Reality.
The world has been changed in a moment and everything is looking transparent but apparent things are somehow unaccepted instantly, they obviously demand a span of time to absorb the miseries and big hallow which needs to be filled but how; suddenly I am not getting the stuff to fill with. Nevertheless it will be filled upto the neck one day but scars of instant change will remain there throught life.
Scars which are burning like everything, every single point fills my eyes with tears, no matter how much effort I put to wash them away, to be not seen anymore but is it as easy as it sounds? My tears flow in flawless manner without bothering the existence of anyone around and my soul is scratched with the harsh reality of life which was brought to me by the waves of time; I couldn’t escape, I can never be.
Nothing can console, nothing can heal, nothing can bring back which I wish it could be; “My Father”
I am living with an illusion since last 13 days, I find him everywhere, I feel him everywhere, Every single sound reminds me his calls, every single knock forces me to open the door for him, but he is no where now, he will never be. I suppose to accept the fact but it would be by the time, Allah has taken him back and will never return to our life, neither we could hear him anymore.
I am writing in a series and tears are flowing like flood but I don’t want to map them, I want them to flow without any barrier so everything could come out clear and I could accept that only his YAAD is left with me now which is ever precious more then everything.

The song reminds me of my Father, our dialogues, our quarrels, little fights on little things, sharing meal, exchange of words, his gestures, his love. No one will ever love me like him.
I miss you Abbu, I miss you like everything, I wish I could spend more time with you, You lost the game of your life in my hands and I couldn’t stop you leaving us. I miss you ever and I could never say to you and I am saying today “I LOVE YOU THE MOST, MORE THEN EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING”
Allah may keep you in peace and gives you the highest rank in his Jannat ul Firdous. Ameen.

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9 Comments

  1. Hmmmm readin through N feelin the pain behind made me really teary hmmm – but this is the painful Haqeeqat, Death. Nothin anyone says can ever lessen the pain in your heart sis, but thing is AllAh have his plans N which we human beings are not aware of. Someone once said to me something v lovely N somethin that made sense to me, that when we humans make promises we try our best [those who value them of course] to fulfill them, at any cost. N similarly: Humari Ruh Ne AllAh Se Wada Kiya Hai Loat Ke Aane Ka, To Wo Kaise Apna Wada Tord Sakti Hai, Bas Uske Wade Ka Waqt Hum Insaanon Ko Maloom Nahin, Isliye Koi Na Koi Bahana Banta Hai Aur Ruh Ka Apna Wada Nibhane Ka Waqt Ho Chuka Hota Hai. hmmmm –

    I again pray for you abBu, AllAh Unhe Jannat uL Firdos Mein Roshan Jaga Ataa Kare – N Innsha-AllAh you N your family are in my prayers. God bless. Be strong –

  2. Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raaji’uun. May Allah forgive him, his sins and ease his time in the grave and grant him paradise, Ameen.

    I am really sorry to hear that!
    My sincere prayers for you guys! 🙂

  3. May Allah SWT grant your father a place in Jannah. Ameen. Summa Ameen.

  4. Assalamoalaikum,

    Inna LIllahi Wa inna ilaihi Rajaoon.

    May Allah forgve his sins and and grant him a place in jannat al firdous a nd give you ALL sabr to deal with his temporary partness, ameen.

    There was so much pain in this entry, remember he is with Allah, and it is a far better place than this dirty world…

    • Yes you are right Allah has taken back what was belonged to him…….
      thanks for the prayer Alhamdo LIllah..keep praying…

  5. May Allah bless your father.


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